Control Thoughts

Controlling our thoughts is perhaps the most difficult task of walking in freedom. Pornography is a powerful source of sinful images that our memory can easily recall. If you have been letting sexual fantasy run wild in your thoughts, you're probably wondering if its even possible to get control over the thoughts. What is impossible in our own strength is possible when we have the Holy Spirit helping us. Our responsibility is to work in partnership with the Holy Spirit to bring our thoughts into obedience to Jesus.

Brainwashing: Earlier in Freedom Journey we mentioned the problem of the memories that sex addiction causes. One of the challenges we face is to stop lusting over those memories. I have found it helpful to first ask God for help in washing the sinful memories out of my mind. A simple daily prayer to pray is:

"Father God, please wash my memory with the blood of Jesus and help me die to any sinful pleasure I have in it. Please forgive me for any sin I have committed in my thoughts. Thank you, Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

The basis for this prayer is found in Hebrews 9:14 and Hebrews 10:22. These verses state that Christ’s blood cleanses our conscience from our sinful works so we can serve God. If I'm tempted to recall the memories each day, I then verbally apply the blood of Jesus to the memory. I say something like, "The blood of Jesus cleanses my mind from that memory." I often repeat this until the temptation subsides.

In addition to the problem of sinful memories, we have spiritual enemies (Ephesians 6:12) who are masters at tempting us in our thoughts (examples: Luke 4:5-6, Acts 5:3). These temptations cater to our minds' natural evil desires (Matthew 15:18-19). Satan's goal is to persuade us to engage our imaginations and lead us to sin.

The power of the imagination: Our imagination is a powerful gift from God. Imagination is a collection of focused thoughts that creates a reality in our mind. As we are made in the God's likeness, our imagination is a scaled down version of God's imagination. God spoke the universe into existence from his imagination. Similarly, we can create things in our imaginations. For example, with one glimpse at a porn picture, I can imagine what it might be like to have sex with the person in the picture. Where the picture only gives me a visual impression, my imagination fills in the rest of the details: sounds, feelings, words, scenario, etc. Through such a fantasy, I commit sexual sin with the person in my mind (Matthew 5:28).

Satan has been baiting people's imaginations ever since the Garden of Eden. He enticed Eve to imagine having God-like knowledge. She wanted the knowledge, she liked the fruit's looks and she saw it was good for food. The combination of those factors motivated her to sin. Satan himself fell to sin by using his imagination to envision himself exalted like God. Satan said in his heart, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High" (Isaiah 14:13-14 NIV). Satan was cast out of heaven as a result. Likewise, using our imaginations sinfully places an obstacle between us and God. Thankfully, we have the power to control our thoughts and honor God with them.

What to do when we're tempted

God gives us clear guidance on what to do with sinful thoughts. We are to take every thought captive and to cast down every sinful imagination (2 Corinthians 10:5). Let's dig deeper to discover how to do this.

Take the thought captive: When evil thoughts come into our mind, we must recognize them, arrest them and command them to submit to Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). We have about 2-3 seconds to make the decision not to sin with the thought. After that point, we're much less likely to stop resisting the temptation.

The scripture tells us to restrain evil thoughts for good reason. When police officers arrest a criminal, they restrain him with handcuffs so that the criminal can not do more harm. Likewise, we restrain evil thoughts so that they can not cause more harm by getting our imagination and memories involved with a sinful fantasy.

How to take the thought captive: State audibly, if possible, "I take that thought captive to the obedience of Jesus and I bind that thought from corrupting my mind in any way, in Jesus' name." In addition, we can:

• Bind any evil spirits that may be projecting the thoughts: "In the name of Yeshua Mesiah (Jesus Christ), I bind any evil spirits that are projecting these thoughts, I loose the peace of Christ in my mind". Our authority to bind evil spirits comes from these scriptures: Matthew 12:29; Matthew 16:19; Matthew 18:18; Luke 10:19-20; Mark 16:17-18; Psalm 91:13; Acts 16:18.

• Apply the blood of Yeshua: "I cover my mind and thoughts with the blood of Adonai Yeshua. It cleanses and protects me."

Cast the sinful imagination down: After you take the evil thought captive, cast it down and send it away.

Reject it: The idea is to reject the thought as you would close your door on a person trying to rob your home. A simple rejection statement is, "In name of Jesus, I reject (or rebuke) that thought and imagination. I send you to Jesus right now."

State the truth: A powerful way to secure your rejection of the evil thought is to state the truth that destroys the lie. Every evil thought is based on a lie. Being familiar with the Bible will help us recognize lies, because we will know the truth. We can then apply Bible verses that destroy the lies by verbally or mentally proclaiming them. Jesus demonstrated this when he withstood Satan's temptations by speaking the applicable scriptures (Luke 4). Here are some sample scriptures for fighting sexual temptations:

• Matthew 5:28 "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (NKJV)

• Luke 11: 34 "Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness." (NIV)

• 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” (NKJV)

• 2 Corinthians 10:-4-5 "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (KJV)

• Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things." (NKJV)

• Colossians 3:1-4 “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” (NKJV)

Redirect thoughts: A final action to take is to redirect our thoughts to something pure (Philippians 4:8; Colossians 3:1-2). We have to take action to get our minds out of the danger area. For example, when I am fighting a temptation, I will recite some Bible memory verses for several minutes until the temptation has subsided. Examples of additional things we can do:

• Pray

• Praise and worship  Elohim (God)

• Play a praise and/or worship CD to create a God-focused atmosphere

• Change our location, and get out of the temptation area

• Call a friend and ask for prayer

We may have to repeat the above steps several times before the temptation subsides. It requires persistence and resolve to stop giving in to evil thoughts. When we repeatedly exercise our power to choose righteousness, our "spiritual muscles" will grow stronger, making it easier to resist the next temptations we face.

If you don't have a plan for memorizing Bible verses, please take a moment to devise a plan that will work for you. For example, the simple plan I use is to write down verses that I find when I do my quiet times. I write them on 3 X 5 index cards and then review the verses until I have them memorized. When I have about 12 verses memorized, I will start a new group of verses. The scripture memory work has helped me tremendously in resisting temptation. The more I memorize, the more ammunition I have available to destroy the lies that come my way.

Personal Application Questions

• What sexual memories are causing significant problems in your daily thought life?

• What are two steps you can take each day to wash those memories from your mind?

• What is the unique power of the blood of Jesus regarding our conscience? (hint: Hebrews 9:14)

• In what ways have you been using your imagination for sin?

• Within the first few seconds of a temptation, what actions should you take with the evil thought? (hint: 2 Corinthians 10:5)

• What is the danger of not restraining or binding an evil thought?

• What are three elements of casting down the evil thoughts/imaginations?

• What spiritual warfare tactic did Jesus use against the devil during his temptation in Luke 4:1-13? How important do you think scripture memory is in using this tactic?

• In what ways will you redirect your thoughts during the next temptation you face?

"What About Masturbation"

Masturbation has become a very controversial subject. It has received divided views even in the Church. One of the greatest reasons for such diverse views is the convenience masturbation provides. It gives a person the power to satisfy themselves, not having to rely upon others. Not to mention that this type of sexual gratification can be done just about anywhere, almost at anytime. Due to this type of flexibility there is also a huge element of safety involved (avoiding diseases, unwanted pregnancy, troubled relationships). Hence, with these factors alone one can see how masturbation would create lots of satisfaction. And anything that makes people feel good tends to be guarded by personal gratification, not necessarily the "truth".

However, from a biblical perspective I would like to address what I believe about masturbation. I believe that masturbation is unhealthy and not scriptural for the following reasons:

1. It is self-sex- God never ordained sex for a "person" but for a "people." In Genesis 1:28 the Bible says, "then God blessed them and God said to them be fruitful and multiply." Notice the emphasis on "them" not him or her. Sex was made for a couple (married) not an individual.

2. It dishonors the body- The body was not created for self-pleasure (sexually), it is a misuse of the body's natural purpose. God desires man to present him/herself as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God (Romans 12:1). God wants spiritual use of our bodies, making them "holy habitations" (1 Corinthians 3:16). Masturbation dishonors the purpose of Elohim / God for our bodies.

3. It is corrupt use of the mind- Masturbation stimulates the imagination. Masturbation feeds off of images. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, the scriptures teach, "to avoid evil imaginations." Elohim / God expects us to keep our minds free of evil thoughts. In Philippians 2:5, the scripture says, "let this mind be in you, which was also in Messiah Yeshua / Christ Jesus." Ask yourself the question, "Would Messiah / Christ think of nude women?"

4. It is mismanagement of emotions- Masturbation makes one feel good outwardly and inwardly. It trains you to turn to sexual pleasure to feel better about life. For many, masturbation is an outlet for stress, and the burdens of every day living. Adonai / Lord  wants man & women to totally trust in Him for relief and happiness

(Proverbs 3:4-5).

Understanding Abuse 

Types of Abuse
    Basically, there are five different kinds of violence that can occur:  physical, sexual, property, verbal and psychological.
 

• Physical abuse includes everything from hitting with fists and grabbing/ shaking to stabbing or shooting.

• Sexual abuse is any kind of forced sexual activity. When a person is forced by a threat of violence to have sex, even within marriage, it is rape.

• Property abuse includes breaking dishes or windows, kicking in doors, punching holes in walls, breaking objects that are meaningful to someone, injuring pets -- and on the list can go.

• Verbal abuse is insidious. It may consist of joking about habits and faults, ignoring feelings, screaming repeated insults, continual humiliation, blaming and name-calling. It often escalates to threats of physical and sexual abuse or desertion. There may even be threats to take the children, or to have the spouse committed to a hospital for the mentally ill.

• Psychological abuse is probably the most difficult to describe.  It is more than just verbal harassment or name-calling.  It is "putting down" in its most vicious form.  It includes heavy, continuous mental abasement -- controlling someone else's actions, behavior and feelings through threats of harm, punishment, or withdrawal.  Psychological abuse is a form of brainwashing, a steady outpouring of criticism and negative feedback.

    What then can be done?  Denial plays a major role in helping either the abuser or abused avoid admitting they have a problem and seeking help. Breaking through and dealing with denial is the first step in the healing process. If you are in physical danger from abuse, it is imperative that you protect yourself by getting away from the batterer. Call on a community shelter, a clergyman or a friend. Professional help for both the battered and the batterer is essential to recovery.

Treatment for the Batterer
    Treatment for the batterer may take a variety of forms, depending on the underlying cause. These causes may include:

• alcoholism
• stressful life situations
• brain damage, psychosis
• sociopathy
• learned behavior

    The only way an alcoholic batterer is going to be helped is to get sober and stay sober. 

    The situational batterers and learned-behavior batterers can best be helped by being referred to a support group for batterers.  One caution, however, if any professional you see suggests medication, immediately leave!  Find another source of help who deals with behaviors, not drugs.

    A good neurologist and a thorough medical evaluation are essential for the brain-damaged batterer. Information about the batterer's anger, explosiveness, accidents or blackouts will assist the physician in making an appropriate diagnosis.

    The psychotic batterer needs psychiatric intervention and medication. Treatment of those who are psychotic also requires extensive family participation.

    The sociopathic batterer has to want to seek help.  Many will not.  Many prefer to put themselves at the top of their priority list rather than their families.  Sometimes a spiritual approach is helpful to the sociopath.  Ask for guidance from your minister.  Join a Bible study or discussion group that fits your needs in an emotionally and spiritually healthy manner.

    However bleak your situation may appear, the most important message regarding violence in the home is that help is available. This help gives hope that the battering can be stopped and turned around. If your spouse will not participate, get help for yourself. Make the choice to get help today, it will be worth it. Remember, not making a choice is a choice!

We Open to help you & pray for you...

Daniel & VeredChen Rozen

Contact with us in Israel: Phone No.# 972-544428771

Contact with us in US. #  1407-4963912  

Alice Barretto

Contact with us in Cyprus. #  357-99925794  

 Alvin & Zorem

E-mail:  israel_jfs@yahoo.com

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THE TRANSCENDENT CHILD -- AS OVERCOMER AND WOUNDED HEALER
REGARDING VERBAL ABUSE AND SPIRITUAL ABUSE

by Sis.Alice Carleton   (wacalice@aol.com)

WHAT IF?!....everyone on the planet heard that there existed an insidious epidemic of major proportions, one in which affected 
millions of people, impacted ones’ mental and physical health (could deplete nutrients needed by the immune system: norepinephrine, potassium, taurine, tyrosine, vitamin B-5, zinc, could affect antibodies, and increase cholesterol.  This epidemic could cause one to doubt reality and sometimes withdraw from real life into an alternate reality.  Some of the (few) symptoms would show up as: hyper-arousal, irritability, sudden anger, difficulty concentrating or sleeping, easily startled, emotionally detached, fatigue, fear and psychic trauma, depression, illness, alcohol or drugs - a numb feeling of powerless and dependency - but there was no way to tell if you had it…..the beginnings of the disease usually took place in secret…..Wouldn’t we have a world-wide outcry to come up with a treatment/vaccine? The only vaccine we have against this horror which pervades our world - education.

The "WHAT IF" IS A REALITY.  Verbal Abuse: Words which disempower and tell a lie about another, one person attempting to manipulate, control and degrade another with belittling, accusations, blaming and shaming. It can also be covert, so that the abused person is unaware of what is happening. This is literal and systematic - brainwashing - the same techniques - used in prisoner-of-war camps (The Stockholm Syndrome can be a result). Verbal Abuse: A Form of Biochemical Assault. Verbal Abuse: The Unrecognized “cancer” in our Society

I consider myself an “expert” in verbal abuse. I lived with verbal abuse for a total of 37 years. Since verbal abuse is at the forefront of ALL abuse, it is of utmost importance to educate everyone. I prefer the term overcomer rather than….. survivor---- since overcomer denotes action. The book which took me 25 years to find, explained everything that was happening to me: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans--- should be required reading for everyone on the planet. This is a subject, which is not understood, unless one has experienced it. Even psychologists and psychiatrists, who have not been specifically trained, have little or no awareness of what it comprises, or what it does to the person being abused. Most women who are being abused, have no awareness of what is happening to them. I have been counseling abused women for the past 15 years, due to a lifetime of abuse and years of research. My therapist (expert in spiritual abuse---story to follow----says that I am at least “at a graduate school level in regards to verbal abuse.” The most humbling experience of a lifetime was when a woman (met her on the Internet) told me that I had prevented her from committing suicide, and had given her “a reason to live.” I am fortunate to have been given many gifts—dance (ballet), singing, writing and healing. My credentials are experiential in nature, and find I am trusted immediately, because of my history and my tactful, non-judgmental way of dealing with people in pain.

I grew up with a mentally-ill mother (not sure what her diagnosis would have been/would be)…most likely Bi-Polar (her father was in a mental institution). She was verbally and physically abusive, and I was the scapegoat (as is usual in families). She worked in the shoe factory, and used me for her stress relief. I never knew what her behavior would be, so I never brought any friends home. I never knew my father (met him when I was 32----he has since died---I planned his funeral---over the phone in another state---for a person I never knew---another story). I was molested by a drunken neighbor while asleep (cannot remember what happened, and cannot pin down an exact age---probably 10 or 11. Another drunken neighbor held my hand over an open fire. In regards to being molested, my mother had left my sister and I alone, and had gone into town. This should never have happened---we lived in a tenement house, which was 120 years old, with criminal-type neighbors. The wood in the shed was all charred from some long-ago fire, and snow came in through a large crack in the wall. There were cockroaches and rats, bare wiring, no insulation, no foundation---and those were the positives about the place!. The whole house was a code-violation. We were poverty-stricken: no refrigerator, bathroom, phone, car, or hot running water., etc., etc. This sounds like the 1860’s, but it was the 1960’s! 

I joined the army right out of high school. This was the first time I was allowed to make any decision, and it was the best decision I ever made. If I had stayed in the small town in Maine (or as I like to call it, Heaven), my life would have been the shoe factory of the Five-and-Ten Cent store. I was in culture shock for about a year….from a little town in Maine (or as I like to call it…Heaven) Always a shock to walk through the gates of the Presidio of San Francisco (where I was stationed), wearing my uniform, while my contemporaries were sitting there in their hippieness (new word I just made up)….protesting….…to San Francisco---at the height of the Vietnam War, Peace and Love, Hippies, drugs, etc…..I had never seen a person of another race before, or had any information on drugs or homosexuality, etc.. Fortunately, I had not learned prejudice---and to this day---am a free thinker and free spirit!

I met and “married” my mother and tried to fix the past. For 31 years I lived with verbal abuse, and some physical abuse (I took pictures of the bruises, it made me so angry---most women start preparing to get a divorce many years beforehand---they start saving money, going back to school, hiding important papers, etc.). When I decided to get a divorce, I experienced a kind of abuse I had never heard of: Spiritual Abuse……my church family of 31 years voted me out of membership, 2 years ago on September 29th (my birthday!). I fought the (legalistic, sexist, abusive church system) for 18 months---not only to try and retain my membership, but to attempt to make a difference, and prevent the pastor (of disaster) from “counseling” any more women, because two of them wanted to commit suicide (because of his “counsel.”). It is my intent to try and get a bill passed which would prohibit clergy members from counseling anyone, unless they have the credentials----just like any other mental health provider. The damage done by these (ego-driven) pastors is appalling, and consider the height of arrogance, when you tell a pastor that his “counseling” is causing people to want to commit suicide-----and he continues!? There is also a pedophile component to this story.

I found a therapist who was/is an expert in spiritual abuse…..unbelievable, because I had never heard the term before. He walked with me through the 18 month nightmare. He said he was happy to journey with me, but that I did all of the work. He attended one of the meetings, and said that I “seemed to be almost enjoying myself.” I was! I faced 17 men, and attempted to educate them regarding abuse…I put together a folder for each of them, outlining the chronology of events which led to the divorce, and information on abuse and handed it out…..in a sense behaving like I was in charge of the meeting! My therapist said he had never seen “a slicker bunch of politicians in his life,” and he has been counseling church people for 25 years!

The evening of the “Inquisition”---”My name was put up on a big screen in front of the congregation, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD. After my ex-husband’s name, the words: Church Discipline—sexist, as well as spiritually abusive--how ironic---my ex-husband was the abuser. I was called to a meeting of the deacons (17 men), and not allowed to have a woman present. I was asked if I was “still having sex with my ex.” They had no boundaries, and so….did not recognize them in someone else. While the pastor was passing out the ballots for the congregation to vote with, he was cracking jokes and laughing. I sat there quietly with class and dignity….in stunned silence…….The congregation followed suit. I call this group-think or mob-mentality. This is how we got a Hitler and a Jim Jones—parking ones’ brain at the door, as it were.

The result of this debacle was that something beautiful came from the ashes: my website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com. Over 150 poems came pouring from my wounded soul----Faith-based poems for anyone hurting from any…thing. It has been a phenomenon---over 4,200 hits in a year. I have heard from incredible people from all over the planet: Ph.D.’s, psychiatrists, psychologists, authors, artists, pastors---even from some Messianic Jews in Jerusalem, Israel- Pastor Daniel Rozen….I called them and spoke with them---they prayed with me in Hebrew---a most powerful experience. My therapist said that I had performed “restorative justice.” How I love that phrase---in other words---this is what you did---this is how it made me feel. Incredibly empowering to one who has lived with abuse for a lifetime. I am on that path now. I wrote to every attendee at the church and addressed: legalism in a church, spiritual abuse, the church’s twisted stance on divorce and verbal abuse. I invited anyone who wanted help with verbal abuse to contact me. The letter took 10 hours to put together. I assumed (and was correct) that no one would contact me. What a shame----the statistics are that one in three women are being abused.

My therapist asked me how I had gotten through life virtually unscathed. My answer was: my faith and wicked sense of humor and twisted wit. Without my humor, I would be drooling in a corner somewhere. I am the transcendent child of whom Lillian Rubin speaks of, in her book of the same title. I have incredible resiliency and tenacity. This may be genetic. My ancestor, Captain Sam (Whittemore) was 80 years of age in 1776. He went out to fight the British, and single-handedly killed 3 of them outright. They were enraged and beat him, bayoneted him 14 times, and shot off half of his face. Not only did he live, he lived to be 96 years old. There is a bill in the House (Massachusetts) to make him a Hero of the Commonwealth.

I have written my (as of yet---unpublished) memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph----from a child with no voice, to someone who stands up against injustice, ignorance and cruelty, which seems to pervade our society.

In regards to restorative justice, I wrote a letter to the pastor requesting restitution/reimbursement for damages for the money that I had to pay for counseling. Both my therapist (and attorney---another miracle---an attorney who counsels abused women for free) did not think the pastor would take my letter seriously. I did though---it was a powerful letter. He did take me seriously, and I am now in negotiations with the church’s insurance company. I told the pastor that I intended to share the proceeds with the 2 women, who because of his “counseling” wanted to commit suicide, and then I said: Now THAT would be restorative justice!

I invite you to view my website and comment. This has been the “Reader’s Digest” version of my journey in life. I will not stop speaking up about the issues of which I am passionate about----verbal abuse and spiritual abuse. Unless or until the cancer on our society---verbal abuse----is brought out—addressed and people are educated…(mostly) women will continue to live in confusion, fear and ignorance at what is happening to them. Verbal abuse is literal brainwashing…the same techniques which are used in prisoner-of-war camps, are the same techniques used in verbal abuse. The Stockholm syndrome is also something which happens to the abused.

In my research, I found a shocking fact. The number one indicator of whether a person will smoke or not (regardless of race, age or societal position in life) is if she/he was molested. I smoke.